Wishing You Were Somwhow Here Again
by Misha
Summary: Song fic. NeoQueen Serenity thinks about her husband after his death.


Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again   
By Michelle

Disclaimer- I don't in any way, shape, or form, own Sailor Moon or any thing associated with the character. I do own this story, but it is a total work of fiction. I also don't own the song "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again", it is from "The Phantom of the Opera" and belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber and probably a few other people. I am not making money off this story, so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes- I was in an angsty mood, which is how I came up this. The lyrics are for "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from The Phantom of the Opera, which is also where I go the title. This story is set sometime in Crystal Tokyo and is Neo-Queen Serenity's POV. If you've ever heard the song, I'm sure your realise just how angsty this story is. Sorry, I was in the mood for angst. Enjoy.

* * *

Time has gone on since you've left. The days have turned to weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years. 

But still I miss you.

I've loved you since the first time I saw you, so many millenia ago. So much has happened since that lifetime. Since you and I died in one another's arms for the first time.

Still, the love survived into another lifetime.

A lifetime in which we met again and this time had it all. We married, had our daughter, and ruled our kingdom.

Together we had it all.

_You were once my one companion...   
You were all that mattered...   
You were once a friend and father-   
Then my world was shattered..._

You were everything to me.

I loved you more than I had ever loved anyone else and I gave you my all.

We spent a lifetime together. Loving, laughing, walking side by side.

But eventually that had to change.

When I lost you, my world shattered. There was a time when I didn't think I could live without you, Mamo-Chan.

Mamo-Chan, remember that name? I gifted you with it so many centuries ago and you called me Usako...

_Wishing you were somehow here again...   
Wishing you were somehow near...   
Sometimes it seemed,   
If I just dreamed,   
Somehow you would be here..._

I loved you so much then, but it is nothing compared to love I felt for you later on. You came to mean everything to me.

And now I just wish you were here again.

I dream of you at night and then I always wake up sobbing, because it's just a dream.

And no dream is ever going to bring you back to me.

_Wishing I could hear your voice again...   
Knowing that I never would...   
Dreaming of you won't help me to do   
All that you dreamed I could..._

I'll never hear your voice again.

You will never call me "Usako" or "Sere", nor will you ever hear me refer to you as "Mamo-Chan" or "Endy".

Even though your gone and things will never be the same, I strive to be the queen you always knew I could be.

I devote myself to Crystal Tokyo and Small Lady.

Small Lady. She's not so small any more and I see you in her every time I look.

You'd be so proud of the woman she's becoming. I know I am. She does it for you. She tries to be what you always knew she could.

We both do.

We both want to realise the potential that you saw and that we didn't.

_Passing bells and sculpted angels,   
cold and monumental,   
Seemed for you the wrong companions-   
You were warm and gentle...   
Too many years fighting back tears...   
Why can't the past just die...?_

As much as I love and miss you, sometimes I wish I could let go.

It's hard holding on to the past, to a piece of time which has already gone by.

I wish I could think of you without tears, for even now the mention of your name makes me want to weep for what was lost.

For the prince I loved a lifetime ago, for my beloved Mamo-Chan, and for the man who was my husband and companion for over a millennium.

The rest of world saw you as cold and hard, but I knew how gentle and warm you really were. You allowed me to see the real man, the man behind the mask.

It is those memories that make me miss you so much, that there are times I wish I could just forget.

But I know I will never be able to.

Still, why can't the past leave me alone?

_Wishing you were somehow here again...   
Knowing we must say goodbye...   
Try to forgive...   
Teach me to live...   
Give me the strength to try..._

Mamo-Chan, Endy, wherever you are... Please teach me how to live without you. Or at least the give me the strength to at least try to.

Because I must say goodbye, for I know that no matter how hard I wish it you will never be here again.

You gave me life, now teach me how to live it without you.

Because somewhere along the line I forgot how.

Forgive me for needing to let you go, but please teach me how...

_No more memories,  
No more silent tears...   
No more gazing across the wasted years...   
Help me say goodbye..._

Starting today I will put the memories away in a special spot, only to be brought out sometimes.

There will be no more silent tears falling down my cheeks in the memory of the love which I will never forget.

Never again will I think of years we were apart and wish you were there.

I'm going to say goodbye.

I will never love another like I loved you. You were my everything. My lover, my friend, my constant companion, my lover, and my husband.

But that time has gone by, you are no longer with me and I must let you go.

I will always be your Usako, but our time together ended years ago. Now I must say goodbye. Goodbye, my Mamo-Chan.

I will always wish you could still be with me, but now I must say goodbye.

_Help me say goodbye._

The End


End file.
